Writer's Month 2019: Burton's Alice
by Veritas Found
Summary: Ficlets written in response to the 2019 Writer's Month on Tumblr, in which: Alice tries to get Tarrant to sell coffee in their tea shop.


**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**03 August 2019**

_**Prompt: **__Coffee Shop AU (Setting)_

_**Fandom:**__ Mad T Party (Burton's Alice)_

_**Character/Pairing:**__ Tarrant Hightopp/Alice Kingsleigh, Mallymkun, Thackery Earwicket_

_**Rating:**__ K Plus / PG / All Ages_

_**Notes:**__ Somehow it started as a "Tarrant should NEVER drink coffee" idea and turned into this Mad T madness. (Food service is my life, so I don't usually write this AU because it feels like work. On that note: hey, y'all, guess who got a 95 on her ServSafe!)_

Tarrant Hightopp could not believe what he was hearing.

"Alice, dear, we are a _tea_ shop," he said, tersely, as patiently as he could. "We sell _tea_."

"I am quite aware of that, darling," she replied, her voice just as terse, before folding her arms over her chest. "That doesn't mean we can't sell things _other_ than tea on occasion, too."

"It's a bad idea!" Mally called from an overstuffed chair by the door where he was busy picking away at his guitar.

"Nobody asked you, Mal!" Alice huffed, but Tarrant only tutted before handing her a mop.

"No, but as his opinion is the _right_ opinion we shall abide it," he said. "Now, I won't hear another word. Finish that floor so we can go home. I'll let Thack know we're leaving."

"I'm not giving up, Tarrant!" Alice called after his retreating back. Mally let out a loud yawn and began tapping his heavily-booted foot in the air.

"Horrible idea," he grumbled. Alice grabbed a damp rag Thackery had left on another table and chucked it at his face.

– V –

Alice thought opening up the shop a few hours early to sell coffee was a _brilliant_ idea, and as her name was right next to Tarrant's on the lease she was well within her rights as co-owner of Like a Teatray in the Sky to implement new products. If their customers didn't like it, then fine. The new product – in this case, coffee – would be removed from the menu. But if they _did_, that opened up an entirely new – entirely lucrative, from what she was seeing – revenue stream.

Their tea shop was located in the heart of town, but they were also within walking distance of the local university. They had the college crowd. They had businessmen. They had _coffee drinkers_ crawling all around the streets outside their little shop_._

Honestly, she just found it all a little silly that Tarrant refused to pander to them. And if he was unwilling to make the call himself, she'd just have to make it for him.

"Mal's right, you know," Thackery commented as she grabbed her purse from the office. He never looked up from where he was dropping scones onto sheet pans. "Serving coffee is a horrible idea."

"Nobody asked you!" she huffed. Her eyes raked over his green-and-black hair, which was only loosely tied back. His customary bandana was missing. "And for the last time, Thack: _hairnet!_"

If she slammed the door to the kitchen a little harder than necessary, well…it was a swinging door, so nobody really noticed.

– V –

Like a Teatray in the Sky did not have a morning rush. They did not have a morning crowd. They didn't even have _morning hours_, so of course there was no morning business to speak of. (The exception was weekends, when Tarrant opened the shop at eleven to accommodate a brunch crowd. Thackery's mini quiches were infamous throughout Marmoreal.) Which was all well and good, as most tea drinkers tended to visit in the afternoon and evening hours, but Alice was convinced the main reason Tarrant refused to open the shop before noon was because he wasn't what one would call a _morning person_.

Which was why she was so surprised to look up at seven-thirty AM and see him standing in the doorway, eyebrows furrowed furiously over his aviator sunglasses and hands lodged firmly on his hips.

"_Alice_," he hissed. She could tell he was trying to be annoyed, but he couldn't deny the crowd overfilling their little shop. Every table was occupied, and the line wound back to the door. There was even a study group set up on the little stage by the window Mally did his open mic nights on. Thackery darted out of the kitchen, swapping out a tray in the display case with a cry of _"Muffins!"_ Tarrant's eyebrow twitched, but as he removed the sunglasses to place them on the brim of his hat Alice saw his eyes were twinkling.

"It's just a trial, darling," she said. She smiled at the woman before her, handing her a fresh carrot muffin. "Enjoy, miss."

"Oh, I hope it's more than a trial! I love that you're trying morning hours!" the woman said, grinning as she raised her to-go cup at Alice. "Cheers, love!"

"Thack – counter!" Tarrant shouted as he stomped past the retreating woman and over to her, grabbing her wrist and tugging her back into the kitchen. Thackery grumbled as he moved past them, reminding them to mind his ovens ("Dinnae burn me tarts!"). He whirled on her once the door was closed. "Alice, really! Coffee?!"

"Oh, stop," she tutted. She reached up took his hat, placing it on the bottom shelf of the table by the door. She held out an expectant hand, and he rolled his eyes as he placed a hair tie in her waiting palm. "I just wanted to see if there'd even be any interest in coffee."

"Of _course_ there's interest in coffee!" he huffed. Despite his annoyance, he bent his knees to allow her to brush his hair back into a ponytail. "There are five shops on every corner dedicated to the simple fact that there's _interest_ in _coffee_, but we don't sell _coffee_ – we sell _tea!_"

She finished off his hair in a bun and drew her hands down to rest on his cheeks.

"And we can increase our clientele by selling coffee, too," she said.

"Our clientele is fine," he huffed. "Alice, really. Coffee? In my tea shop?"

"_Our_ tea shop," she said, adjusting his scarf. He looked rather slapdash, like he had simply grabbed yesterday's clothes from the hamper in his dash to stop her. "And we don't have to sell coffee, but maybe we could consider opening up an hour or two earlier? I don't mind coming in. Chess probably wouldn't mind. Thackery can even get his baking done in the morning like a normal person."

"Chessur. Willingly waking up before noon," Tarrant deadpanned. She grinned as she tapped his nose.

"You did today," she reminded him. He rolled his eyes.

"Because my bed was left woefully cold by a missing Alice," he said, pulling her against him. "Woefully cold. Absolutely frigid. This is much better."

"We can close early tonight," she sighed, resting her cheek above his heart. "Since I made us all come in early."

"Mally can close," he said. He took a deep, fortifying breath. "All right. Fine. Where is this coffee you keep going on about?"

"Pardon?"

"If you insist on selling it, I might as well at least know what it _tastes_ like," he harrumphed. She grinned and slipped away from him, disappearing for a moment to the front. She reappeared a moment later, holding out his favorite blue cup. He grudgingly took it from her and gave it a suspicious sniff.

"It might be nice having it in the shop," she said as the ovens went off. She grabbed the mitts, turned off the timer, and pulled out Thackery's tarts. "I'm told it really adds something special to a chocolate cake."

"I don't like the smell," Tarrant grumbled. "Too…" He sipped the drink, and it had barely touched his tongue before he was pulling faces. "Blech! No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Absolutely not! Disgusting!"

She plucked the cup from his hands and took a sip, considering. She had added entirely too much cream and sugar, but she had known he wouldn't touch the stuff otherwise. It was disgusting, by coffee standards, but she had thought he would prefer it that way.

"It's fine," she said. She leaned up to peck at his lips. "You're just stubborn."

"Well, it tastes better coming from _you_," he said as he followed her out of the back.

"Your tarts are done, Thack," she said, ignoring him. "I'll get the rest."

Thackery gave the current customer their order, bid them a good day, and scampered back into the kitchen. Alice slapped on her best service smile, but it quickly fell from her lips when she looked up to find Mally standing before her. His bleached hair stuck up more than usual, and large, dark sunglasses covered most of his face, which was drawn down in a pained frown. He thrust a handful of bills in her face, his other hand deeply lodged in the pocket of his red hoodie.

"If you're now going to insist we all be up at this ungodly hour," he grumbled, wagging the money at her, "the least you can do is properly caffeinate me."

And Tarrant could only stare, bemused, because honestly he had never seen Mallymkun Dor Mouse, who he had always suspected might be slightly narcoleptic, awake before noon.


End file.
